I had an asthma attack this afternoon. I have mild asthma, so this sorta thing isn't super surprising. It used to be really bad during marching band season and when I weighed more. Anyway, went for a run/walk with Isaac today and forgot to bring my inhaler. dumb. I never really got over the weird feeling, even when I got home, used my inhaler and took a really hot shower. The rest of the afternoon was spent in bed. I got up when Isaac left for small group, but I freaked out, because I still felt weird. So I went to West Chester and cuddled with him, so if I died or passed out, at least he could be with me : ) Luckily, I didn't, but I'm still not much for words at the moment, at least not verbally. It's as if every breath counts. It's weird.
As if 2010 wasn't bad enough, my adult acne came back. Sometimes I break out all over my face, but it's a 110% guarantee that I will always break out on my chin. I wonder if a chemical peel would help get rid of some of the underlying bacteria?
Sometimes when I sit down to purposely write something, I think, "Damn, that's good." I think that ego may be a reason to not sit down and purposely write : ) (btw- I am in no way referring to this blog post)
Once Upon A Time on ABC is pretty darn good.
Have you ever noticed that all Taylor Swift songs seem to lead to the conclusion that the guy is with the wrong girl? ie: should leave his love for Taylor. After a while, sweet little Swift songs don't sound so sweet : )
I'm really into smiley faces tonight.
I applied for a newly opened coordinator position at work. Found out tonight that I didn't get it. I'm definitely bummed, but I'm at peace with it. I feel like I gave a pretty solid interview and I'm in a place where I know that I fit in. I not only enjoy what I do, but I'm pretty good at it. I didn't change anything about myself or create trainings or extra stuff to impress anybody. Sometimes I go above and beyond because I feel like it's what the clients deserve and what we should all strive for. I wouldn't be happy if I wasn't doing what I do. Worst case scenario, not getting this position allows me time to grow and learn more. How bad can that be?
I dressed up like Lady Gaga last night. Blue swimsuit, gold belt, fishnets, robe, house slippers and a giant blond wig with curlers and a little blue bow. I was supposed to be Lady Gaga when she gets old, fat and tired. I'm still a bit uncertain how a woman, dressed up like another woman, could resemble a drag queen so effortlessly. Once I took the wig off last night, I realized I perhaps missed my calling and should have been downtown, singing "It's Raining Men" by the Pointer Sisters. Maybe it was the gold and pink eyelashes. I'm not too sure.
I think I could be friends with Kelly Clarkson in real life. She seems so down to earth and likable. Sometimes there's a little too much try in her videos, but I think that's just because she's just a really freaking good singer and not an actress. Who knows.
My dog gets to play with Charlie tomorrow. He's pretty stoked. He recognizes his name and knows where he lives and can remember playing with him. Granted, he's never actually told me this, but I can so tell by his eyes and actions and the fact that he cries when we get close to their house.
Rumor has it that a popular entertainer is pregnant, but doesn't want to announce it publicly until she gets a fat deal with a magazine. There's a 90% chance that this is all it is - a rumor. But the slim chance that it's true, makes me kinda sick.You're in an essence, selling your baby.
People who think Halloween is evil are weird to me.
I've been exhausted for the last week. It's really beginning to get on my nerves.
I still really wonder if my friends are overly disappointed in me because of how fat I am. I hope I don't disgust them.
There was forgiveness for something, but I'm still really hurt and there's a bit of trust lacking. Which begs the question, did I not fully forgive or did I do something wrong? Or it that just a normal part of life? You can forgive, but you don't forget. I don't know. I'm kinda torn on the issue.
It's hard to watch someone fight death in front of you; friend's marriages in trouble; be with folks who want to take their own life. There's absolutely no right words to say to ease that pain. I'm hoping that just being there is enough.
Please be in prayer for a client's family. Death seems to be rather immanent.
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