Click here if you're still interested reading about my journeys thru Nigeria...
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Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Africa
It's been about 2 1/2 weeks since Isaac and I set foot in American soil after spending 9 days in Nigeria. Instead of bombarding folks with info and pictures, I've decided to try and break each day up into a blog entry. Disclaimer - The first one is pretty boring, mainly because it deals with the flight and the few short hours we were in Abuja. 97% of which was spent sleeping : )
You can follow the blog here.
You can follow the blog here.
Friday, November 19, 2010
what the hey hey is wrong with a hug?
I love hugs. I love to give them. I love to receive them. To me, a hug exemplifies the characteristics of the best of the human race. It knows no language barrier. It can console, express gratitude, love, lust, friendship, mend broken relationships and is the simplest way to say "I'm glad you're in my life" or "I've missed you" - even if you just saw them that morning. A hug can say so much, without ever having said a word.
However, something seems to happen to hugs once a person enters into marriage. I am uncertain of it's origin or what seems to break in a man's mind, but something overpowers a male's sense of reality and logic in the hug-giving realm. Let me give you an example.
I have a good guy friend that I have known for years and years. I knew this person before they got married and have been good friends with their wife for ages. We used to hug all of the time. Like, full on hugs. Nothing was weird about it. I didn't think, "Hey, he's single, I'm single, I bet this hug means something..." I took it for what it was - an expression of our friendship. But suddenly, after my friends got married, there were no more legit hugs. I would go in for one, only to be swooped to the side for the dreaded side hug. Nothing says "oh, you're awkward" more than the side hug. I hate them. But worst of all, when I inquired about the sudden dissing of our friendship hugs, I was told it was because of my chest. WHAT?!?!?!?! WHAAAAA?!?!?!?! Seriously?????? The chest that I've had for almost 2 decades, the one that did not develop the moment you said your "I do's". UGH. And then I began to see it - the paradigm was shifting between good friends who were now married. It seems that everywhere I looked, a secret man-code had been exchanged.
Back when we were all single, I never thought that giving any of my guy friends a hug was something dirty. So why is it now that we're married? I have good guy friends, I mean good friends, some of whom I would consider to be like family, who will not give me a real hug. It's depressing. When I hug my girl friends, I never think, 'hmm, I wonder if they're a lesbian?" So why should it be any different with a man? Because honestly, the way that I hug Isaac is TOTALLY different than the way I hug anyone else. It lingers. I smell his shirt, I kiss his neck. He holds me.
The downfall of the American "real hug" has seriously has been bugging me for years. I've been wanting to write about it for months. To be able to freely say that there is nothing wrong with me or my chest. In lieu of my annoyances with my guy friends, I've created a short list of weird hugs that exist. So just man-up and give me a real hug, dang it.
* The Rodeo- This refers to one of the many hugs that you don't ever see coming. Here's how it works- you're on your way into another room, you're brushing past people when suddenly, in one swift pivoting motion, an arm becomes interlocked with your Adam's Apple and your back is thrust into the rib cage of of one of your closest man buddies. Very similar to the way police men catch alligators on Discovery Channel or the way animal control captures stray dogs. It's like a backwards real hug. It's confusing, but somehow you're still thankful for it.
* Shaken, Not Stirred- This is a creepy kind of hug. Could be instigated by a man or women. It's a full on hug, but with a death grip and lots of bouncing and/or shaking. It's like being stuck in the blender of all hugs. It's awkward and you want a drink afterwards.
* Humpty Dump- You see this a lot at sporting arenas. Typically occurs after a big win. Grown men will run and literally leap with all of their nasty sweatiness onto another man's back or neck. Sometimes even their chest. It all simply depends on the way the person is facing. It's a domino effect, with the whole team soon joining into this celebration with loud cheers and eventually jumping. It's a weird entanglement of hormones and Leap Frog and Tone Loc and Barrel of Monkeys. Usually followed by showering together.
* Side Hug- The deceiver of all hugs. It says, "I like you, but I don't want my wife to see me hugging you". Can be done as a pass by, a swift motion that leaves the hugged stunned for a moment, since they were unaware it was even coming. I consider this to be the most insulting hug, since it seems to say that a real hug would mean something dirty.
* Oops, I Did It Again Hug- Typically occurs at large family functions or reunions of sorts. You're passing out hugs like candy to a fat kid, when you realize in your moment of bliss, you hugged the one person you can't stand. Could be similar to flipping off your Grandma, you're not sure how to take it back.
* Pillow Talk- When someone of short stature walks up to you and buries their head in your chest multiple times until they find a comfortable spot. Had this happen to me recently. A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
* The County Fair- You've seen this technique at fairgrounds when individuals leap after pigs and goats in order to capture them. Most frequently found at large parties when someone comes from behind, captures you, covers your eyes and yells, "Guess Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhooooo??????"
* Karaoke Choke Hold- Could also be referred to as the Drunk Chic Hug. Usually happens after one of more people become inebriated and decide that singing old '80's hits into a microphone will cure their ill. Upon completion of song or songs, one arm is swung from behind and wrapped across an unsuspecting friend's neck. Must be followed by a white-knuckle choke hold on the person and a good shake-down. May or may not be followed by a kiss on the cheek and one or more, "I love you man(s)".
However, something seems to happen to hugs once a person enters into marriage. I am uncertain of it's origin or what seems to break in a man's mind, but something overpowers a male's sense of reality and logic in the hug-giving realm. Let me give you an example.
I have a good guy friend that I have known for years and years. I knew this person before they got married and have been good friends with their wife for ages. We used to hug all of the time. Like, full on hugs. Nothing was weird about it. I didn't think, "Hey, he's single, I'm single, I bet this hug means something..." I took it for what it was - an expression of our friendship. But suddenly, after my friends got married, there were no more legit hugs. I would go in for one, only to be swooped to the side for the dreaded side hug. Nothing says "oh, you're awkward" more than the side hug. I hate them. But worst of all, when I inquired about the sudden dissing of our friendship hugs, I was told it was because of my chest. WHAT?!?!?!?! WHAAAAA?!?!?!?! Seriously?????? The chest that I've had for almost 2 decades, the one that did not develop the moment you said your "I do's". UGH. And then I began to see it - the paradigm was shifting between good friends who were now married. It seems that everywhere I looked, a secret man-code had been exchanged.
Back when we were all single, I never thought that giving any of my guy friends a hug was something dirty. So why is it now that we're married? I have good guy friends, I mean good friends, some of whom I would consider to be like family, who will not give me a real hug. It's depressing. When I hug my girl friends, I never think, 'hmm, I wonder if they're a lesbian?" So why should it be any different with a man? Because honestly, the way that I hug Isaac is TOTALLY different than the way I hug anyone else. It lingers. I smell his shirt, I kiss his neck. He holds me.
The downfall of the American "real hug" has seriously has been bugging me for years. I've been wanting to write about it for months. To be able to freely say that there is nothing wrong with me or my chest. In lieu of my annoyances with my guy friends, I've created a short list of weird hugs that exist. So just man-up and give me a real hug, dang it.
* The Rodeo- This refers to one of the many hugs that you don't ever see coming. Here's how it works- you're on your way into another room, you're brushing past people when suddenly, in one swift pivoting motion, an arm becomes interlocked with your Adam's Apple and your back is thrust into the rib cage of of one of your closest man buddies. Very similar to the way police men catch alligators on Discovery Channel or the way animal control captures stray dogs. It's like a backwards real hug. It's confusing, but somehow you're still thankful for it.
* Shaken, Not Stirred- This is a creepy kind of hug. Could be instigated by a man or women. It's a full on hug, but with a death grip and lots of bouncing and/or shaking. It's like being stuck in the blender of all hugs. It's awkward and you want a drink afterwards.
* Humpty Dump- You see this a lot at sporting arenas. Typically occurs after a big win. Grown men will run and literally leap with all of their nasty sweatiness onto another man's back or neck. Sometimes even their chest. It all simply depends on the way the person is facing. It's a domino effect, with the whole team soon joining into this celebration with loud cheers and eventually jumping. It's a weird entanglement of hormones and Leap Frog and Tone Loc and Barrel of Monkeys. Usually followed by showering together.
* Side Hug- The deceiver of all hugs. It says, "I like you, but I don't want my wife to see me hugging you". Can be done as a pass by, a swift motion that leaves the hugged stunned for a moment, since they were unaware it was even coming. I consider this to be the most insulting hug, since it seems to say that a real hug would mean something dirty.
* Oops, I Did It Again Hug- Typically occurs at large family functions or reunions of sorts. You're passing out hugs like candy to a fat kid, when you realize in your moment of bliss, you hugged the one person you can't stand. Could be similar to flipping off your Grandma, you're not sure how to take it back.
* Pillow Talk- When someone of short stature walks up to you and buries their head in your chest multiple times until they find a comfortable spot. Had this happen to me recently. A-W-K-W-A-R-D.
* The County Fair- You've seen this technique at fairgrounds when individuals leap after pigs and goats in order to capture them. Most frequently found at large parties when someone comes from behind, captures you, covers your eyes and yells, "Guess Wwwwwwhhhhhhhhhooooo??????"
* Karaoke Choke Hold- Could also be referred to as the Drunk Chic Hug. Usually happens after one of more people become inebriated and decide that singing old '80's hits into a microphone will cure their ill. Upon completion of song or songs, one arm is swung from behind and wrapped across an unsuspecting friend's neck. Must be followed by a white-knuckle choke hold on the person and a good shake-down. May or may not be followed by a kiss on the cheek and one or more, "I love you man(s)".
Thursday, November 4, 2010
leaving on a jet plane....
Tomorrow Isaac and I are boarding several planes on our way to Nigeria. If you don't have any idea on what I'm talking about, just click here and maybe it'll help clarify a bit.
For those of you who are interested in following our journey while we're there, check out this blog. I don't know exactly how often it'll be updated by the leaders, but well, here ya go.
Wish us well.
For those of you who are interested in following our journey while we're there, check out this blog. I don't know exactly how often it'll be updated by the leaders, but well, here ya go.
Wish us well.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
embarrassment + residents + a snap back to reality
I work a silly amount of hours on Saturdays and I like to complain about it. But I also like being off 3 days a week, so it's a bit tongue in cheek... Regardless, I dig my job. I have been given the opportunity to work with some very talented, very smart, very funny individuals. One of the bonuses of my position is that I get a chance to find cool recreational activities for the residents to attend. I try really hard to search out things that I know are safe and enjoyable and affordable, but aren't solely catered to folks with special needs....Just over a year ago, one of my buddy's decided to make a little movie and it turned out to be just freaking hilarious. Isaac played a fairly big part behind the scenes and was delightful as the deputy in the film. Anywoo, the movie debuted last night at the Hollywood Casino in Lawrenceburg, IN. Two of my residents wanted to attend, so we ventured on over to watch the show.
Both make friends fairly easily, so it wasn't totally cool with them for me to be sitting cheek to cheek during the film. Understandable, so I sat a couple rows back with my Isaac and my in-laws. All was well until about 1/2 way thru, one started laughing really, really loud and repeating his favorite lines. During some rather tense scenes, one of the other residents shouted out, "2 Kings!??!" and several "Oh no's!"..... Stuff like that usually doesn't bother me, but for some reason it really did last night. I got all embarrassed and Isaac just kept reassuring me they were fine. After the movie ended, there was a Q&A session with the director and one of my guys asked what seemed to me, a couple of "embarrassing questions". I was mortified. Every muscle in my body was tense. And then to top it all off, from the time we hit the escalators to the parking garage, he reenacted his favorite scene, which just happened to be a dirty dance, in front of several hundred people. Each time shouting, "and then he did this to that handicapped lady!" Holy shit.
Thankfully, on the 45 minute drive home, I had some time to think about my actions. I decided I was embarrassed for 2 main reasons:
1) It was my buddy's night. He and a slew of others have worked tirelessly on this project and I didn't want anything to overshadow that.
2) I really, truly love the residents that I work with in that house. I'm lucky enough to work with some of the coolest people on the planet. Sometimes they annoy me. Sometimes the choices that they make anger me. But I love their hearts and I very desperately want others to see how amazing they are. Most of the residents that I work with are aware that they have some form of disability, but I am confident that they don't see themselves as disabled. It's actually quite interesting, because I've had the opportunity to converse with a few of them on the way they few "the handicapped" - aka people who have very defined physical disability. To some of my residents, there is pity thrown because to them, the other person's handicap is very tangible, very defined - you can see that there is something different. I don't really think that my guys connect with someone who's disability differs from theirs. ( I think that's why my residents didn't get upset with the scene with the woman in the wheelchair) For the most part, they don't see themselves as broken (nor should they) or delayed in some areas. I think one of the biggest fears that I have for my guys is that other "typical" individuals would walk away saying things like, "Those disabled folks sure said some crazy things". Even though I get that they have a developmental disability, I never want that to trump the truth that they're a human first, and ridiculously witty and intelligent.
And honestly, my guy asked the questions he did during the Q&A session because to him, he really was concerned about those issues. And I didn't take them to see the movie because I thought they'd appreciate the budget or what type of camera was used. I took the both of them because they like to laugh. And my friends are funny. He reenacted the dance scene because he thought it was hilarious. She said "Oh no" and "2 Kings!", not because she's a master poker player, but because she's smart enough to pick up on the cues that something tense or dangerous or uncertain is about to happen. Before we had even left the ballroom, my guy was asking when he could see it next because "it was so, so, so funny!" and the director is "his boy". (I always forget that this is the residents term of endearment for him)
Shame on me for being embarrassed when I was the one who invited them. Shame on me for dishonoring them by being more concerned with what others thought instead of focusing on the fact that they were enjoying a really good flick. Shame on me for slipping up and for viewing them as someone with a disability instead of the seeing them for who they are. Clearly, I still have a way's to go.
Both make friends fairly easily, so it wasn't totally cool with them for me to be sitting cheek to cheek during the film. Understandable, so I sat a couple rows back with my Isaac and my in-laws. All was well until about 1/2 way thru, one started laughing really, really loud and repeating his favorite lines. During some rather tense scenes, one of the other residents shouted out, "2 Kings!??!" and several "Oh no's!"..... Stuff like that usually doesn't bother me, but for some reason it really did last night. I got all embarrassed and Isaac just kept reassuring me they were fine. After the movie ended, there was a Q&A session with the director and one of my guys asked what seemed to me, a couple of "embarrassing questions". I was mortified. Every muscle in my body was tense. And then to top it all off, from the time we hit the escalators to the parking garage, he reenacted his favorite scene, which just happened to be a dirty dance, in front of several hundred people. Each time shouting, "and then he did this to that handicapped lady!" Holy shit.
Thankfully, on the 45 minute drive home, I had some time to think about my actions. I decided I was embarrassed for 2 main reasons:
1) It was my buddy's night. He and a slew of others have worked tirelessly on this project and I didn't want anything to overshadow that.
2) I really, truly love the residents that I work with in that house. I'm lucky enough to work with some of the coolest people on the planet. Sometimes they annoy me. Sometimes the choices that they make anger me. But I love their hearts and I very desperately want others to see how amazing they are. Most of the residents that I work with are aware that they have some form of disability, but I am confident that they don't see themselves as disabled. It's actually quite interesting, because I've had the opportunity to converse with a few of them on the way they few "the handicapped" - aka people who have very defined physical disability. To some of my residents, there is pity thrown because to them, the other person's handicap is very tangible, very defined - you can see that there is something different. I don't really think that my guys connect with someone who's disability differs from theirs. ( I think that's why my residents didn't get upset with the scene with the woman in the wheelchair) For the most part, they don't see themselves as broken (nor should they) or delayed in some areas. I think one of the biggest fears that I have for my guys is that other "typical" individuals would walk away saying things like, "Those disabled folks sure said some crazy things". Even though I get that they have a developmental disability, I never want that to trump the truth that they're a human first, and ridiculously witty and intelligent.
And honestly, my guy asked the questions he did during the Q&A session because to him, he really was concerned about those issues. And I didn't take them to see the movie because I thought they'd appreciate the budget or what type of camera was used. I took the both of them because they like to laugh. And my friends are funny. He reenacted the dance scene because he thought it was hilarious. She said "Oh no" and "2 Kings!", not because she's a master poker player, but because she's smart enough to pick up on the cues that something tense or dangerous or uncertain is about to happen. Before we had even left the ballroom, my guy was asking when he could see it next because "it was so, so, so funny!" and the director is "his boy". (I always forget that this is the residents term of endearment for him)
Shame on me for being embarrassed when I was the one who invited them. Shame on me for dishonoring them by being more concerned with what others thought instead of focusing on the fact that they were enjoying a really good flick. Shame on me for slipping up and for viewing them as someone with a disability instead of the seeing them for who they are. Clearly, I still have a way's to go.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
the dog who wouldn't stop puking
I think it would be funny if I named my next dog, Pope. Pope John Mary Katherine. Then people wouldn't have to wonder if it was Catholic or not. Although they might wonder about something else.
Anywoo, Cassius had surgery to remove a growth on his leg. After popping a couple of the stitches out, the vet gave us a much larger cone. (and for only $27.99! what a deal...) The last cone made Cash look like he got stuck in a lampshade. But this new baby is a satellite dish. Anyway, on with the story... so because of the much larger cone, we could no longer put him in his cage when we were gone - he just won't fit - so we left him out. We had been doing this for about a week and a 1/2 and we were SO, SO, SO impressed that he hadn't destroyed the house. Then about 3:45am last Thursday night, Isaac and I were awoken to the sounds of vomitish noises. Isaac cleaned it up and we all went back to bed. Then about an 1 1/2 hr later, it happened again. Puke on the bedroom floor. My mind immediately raced to this goofy dog and I started getting nervous. Friday swung around and things seemed good until about 5am Friday night/Saturday morning. The puke. It was back. On our bedroom floor. I had to go to work fairly shortly after that, but the whole drive I just kept praying to the sweet Lord Jesus that Cash didn't eat a nut he wasn't supposed to (our backyard is nothing but hazelnuts) because we can't afford to keep sending him to the vet. I got to work and started checking out what the interest rates were on our credit cards, etc.... Then I got a text from Isaac. It made no sense. How could it be? I decided to call to get all of the details.
Turns out, after I left for work, Cash puked AGAIN in the bedroom (4x combines total). Isaac let him outside. Later on, Isaac happened to catch him playing/eating something. Turns out the dog had puked outside too. What did he puke up, you ask? Wait for it.... Wait for it... a whole pair of my underwear. 
Isaac said by the looks of it, it had been in there a couple of days. Isaac and I were amazed/disgusted and hung up. Then I got another text from Isaac that read - "And a sock too!". Turns out the dog puked a 4x time that morning (Running tally: 6x total) and this time he puked up a sock. Mind you, this is the 2nd sock he's puked up in 2 weeks. So all of this time we thought he was doing so well while we were gone, he was simply grazing on our laundry. Unbelievable.
Isaac said by the looks of it, it had been in there a couple of days. Isaac and I were amazed/disgusted and hung up. Then I got another text from Isaac that read - "And a sock too!". Turns out the dog puked a 4x time that morning (Running tally: 6x total) and this time he puked up a sock. Mind you, this is the 2nd sock he's puked up in 2 weeks. So all of this time we thought he was doing so well while we were gone, he was simply grazing on our laundry. Unbelievable.
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