Why You Should Hate Christians

I could list a million reasons why I could hate my tribe. Well, if we're being honest, probably more...
We say some of the dumbest things - and at the most inappropriate times. We're whiny, rude, condescending and arrogant. We love to be right and sometimes play victim when we're wrong. We secretly like the separation of church and state, unless of course, we want to build Noah's Ark in the middle of KY and need funding.

We're very proud of our morals and codes and ethics. We say we've been 'saved by grace' and 'saved from our sins', but most of us don't actually work hard at the grace bit. Dare I say because quite a few of us don't actually believe we deserve grace. We work so hard at having all of the right answers and looking proper and doing 'all of the right things' that when we slip up, it's swept under the rug so quickly, as to not soil the good name of the denomination or the church or of course, ourselves. We secretly heart the idea that our good deeds and purity has earned us a better seat, therefore negating the entire appeal of grace and love and forgiveness. And if we've been working so hard to be so good for so long, well then what hope do the other poor shmucks have?

We're really into catchy phrases and fads and the dying and shaving of youth pastor's heads.  We think we're holy with our stained glass and pews but way cooler, when we meet in a school with folding chairs, a rocking band, jeans and coffee. (We love to feel authentic and like we're the first ones to come up with an idea) We like to steal popular logos turn them into a Christianese slogan. A few of us think 'Friend Day' is considering reaching out to the community. We usually don't look into where the actual teaching of Jesus and the saints came from, because that seems scary and unfaithful somehow. I think a few actually believe Jesus was an American and wrote the KJV. We feel good about ourselves when we gloat and shout and protest, at scared young mothers. We twist and grope the image of the most glorious redeemer to suit our own purposes. We throw dung in the faces of our enemies and are convinced that the party (no matter which one) we vote for, or the music we listen to (whether Christian or not) is the correct one. Every generation is convinced that whatever particular race or gender or sexual orientation that we decide to taunt and spit at, that those deeds are blessed by God. We love being heard. (why do you think I have a blog?)

But I can't do it. I may hate with all of the passions of this world, the things that some of my tribe members believe and do in the name of Yahweh, but I can't hate them. Because when it gets down to the nitty gritty, I believe that we're all created in the image of God, and every single one of us has royally screwed up. We all want something to serve, whether it's a religion, money, sex, attention, food, or praise, we crave it. It wakes us up in the middle of the night, gasping for more. We are like little children who never want to be picked last in gym class. We yearn for acceptance, but we always want to be our own Master. It's a continuous thread throughout the Bible - we fall, we're redeemed, we yearn for an earthly master, we don't like being told what to do, we turn away, we act stupid, we come to our senses. Rinse. Repeat. Over and over again, like a beat up pair of tennis shoes in a dryer, we just get loud and kinda uncomfortable.

See, I really kinda wanna hate my tribe. I even flirt with the idea of hating certain people sometimes, but this crazy guy once taught that "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." (1 Corinthians 13:1). And the weirder thing is that the crazy guy followed an even kookier guy who said something to the effect of, "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other." (John 13:35) It's sounds crazy. Absolutely absurd - have you met some of us?!  But as much as I've tried to fight it or deny it or pick it apart, I'm convinced that Jesus was more than some great teacher or magician or hippie. That he lived and breathed amongst a community of numb nuts, because that's who we all are. That he was fully God and fully man. And we need to be shown how to love and heal and listen and embrace each other. That we shouldn't be scared or angered at those who look or believe differently than us, cause we're all cut from the same cloth.

I'm tired of being a gong.