Wednesday, March 30, 2011

This Makes My Heart Happy

My Grandma Johnson has dementia. Her life over the past 3 years has been a slow and steady decline into a very sad state. This disease has caused my sweet, loving, neversayabadwordaboutyou grandma into someone who I do not recognize at times. 

Last Thursday started off with the same questions I have been greeted with for a while now, "Who are you and are you going to take me to the bathroom?"  : )  However, Grandma was awake, friendly and very talkative! (not typical)  And apparently had been singing "Jesus Loves Me" all day. She has no longer recognizes herself in pictures, knows who her grandchildren are, asked me once if she was supposed to sleep under the Christmas tree and usually doesn't remember that her husband is dead, but she can remember a simple song. I think there's something to be said about when all else fails you, remembering these six simple words....

Friday, March 25, 2011

There's Something Wrong With This Picture

Everybody has pet peeves. Some are silly nuances and some are legit. I have one that has flustered me since I was a kid - when churches block out the community. Example A: the church I belonged to as a child took down basketball hoops because the neighborhood kids kept playing on them and "tearing them up". Example B: Another church I used to belong to had signs in their parking lot prohibiting skateboarding.

Isaac and I passed a church sign on Monday that just lit me up. I actually drove the 45 minutes back down to Florence yesterday to take a picture of it to make sure that it actually said what I thought it did. And then I wrote an e-mail to the pastor. I honestly tried to do it in love and actually use some form of tact. I think I succeeded.

There's just so many things wrong with the whole mindset. It seems very "us against them". If there's an empty lot, why can't people park there? Why can't folks skateboard or shoot hoops? Why do we thank God for 'all He's given us', only to hoard it? In my opinion, you can have as many "Friend Days" and Revivals as you want, but if you're selective about who you invite in, then what's the point?

All that comes to mind when I see signs like that is, "You're not welcome here." How content are we to come to a building, give testimonies and praise an invisible God? A God who we like to mold into a neat little package so He fits our every need. Don't like music when you worship? We've got that covered. Think the idea of speaking in tongues is a little too cutting edge? No problem. Worried your best friend's amazing legs and short stylish haircut might make your husband lust? Cover 'em up and grow it out. Feel the need to dress up every time you go to church? Check. Hate the idea of dressing up and think that the other guys have it all wrong? Got those churches too. Afraid to have a real discussion about alcohol? Ban it. Talk about hell and sinning a lot. (And whatever you do, don't teach on John 2!) And yes Pastor, I'd love to meet you at KFC for a couple of Double Down sandwiches after the service.

It seems so often we're all about come to us, come to our special event, let me tell you what I believe... It seems so rarely that we focus on go, go, go. Wasn't that the Great Commission?

It's not that I think that going to a "church" is bad - I don't. At all. I get irate when we think that it was created for our preferences. When did church become about us, anyway?

The whole congregation of believers was united as one—one heart, one mind! They didn't even claim ownership of their own possessions. No one said, "That's mine; you can't have it." They shared everything. The apostles gave powerful witness to the resurrection of the Master Jesus, and grace was on all of them.

And so it turned out that not a person among them was needy. Those who owned fields or houses sold them and brought the price of the sale to the apostles and made an offering of it. The apostles then distributed it according to each person's need. (Taken from The Message, Acts 4: 32-35)

Thursday, March 17, 2011


it's 2am. I should be in bed. but I am not. I'm on the computer using poor punctuation and spelling and grammatical errors out the ying yang. in other words, nothing too out of the ordinary.

I think I'll go jogging with cassius in the morning.

I'm no longer considered obese. Now I'm just good 'ol fashioned fat. I have 31 more lbs to lose before I would be considered healthy. It seems far away. 

My friend gave me a real hug. and he didn't say anything about my chest. I nearly fainted.

I wonder a lot if it's normal or healthy or sane or just stupid to care about and love the people in my life the way that I do.

I still can't figure out how to write about my grandfather's passing. But I miss him so much. he was the only grandfather that I remember or knew cared about me.

I never realized how selfish I was until I got married. holy cow.

something interesting happened on Sunday. I had perfectly laid out plans to be lazy all day, but I couldn't sleep, went for a jog and then decided that I was too sweaty and awake at this point to go back to bed, so I went to church. it was the first week of the open series. or maybe the 2nd. I don't know. I don't really go anymore. Anyway, wanted to leap out of my skin, it was so nerve wracking. considered leaving,but got blocked in. then about 10 mins into Dave's talk, I noticed a mother and her son get up and leave. The son has some form of special need and his behavior embarrassed the mom. She appeared angry, but I know she was embarrassed, because that's the way I react when I get embarrassed. I instantly felt for her and chased them down the hallway : ) Long story short, I connected them with The Circle (service at vcc for folks with all forms of special needs) and was delighted that they took my invite to let me introduce them to the leaders. (the circle only meets at the 10:30am service on Sundays and I just happened to show up to the 10:30am VCC service) I could overhear the mother stating all of the reasons why her son would be a distraction or wouldn't fit in. They rolled off her tongue like it was something she's had to explain for the past 2 decades. several times she looked at me and mouthed "thank you" with tears in her eyes. I missed the service, but I went to church. I cannot explain the delight that rippled thru my veins. If you read my last post, you would see why this was is such a strange, yet warm feeling. I caught a glimpse of what redemptive stories are about. Definitely for the mom. Maybe for myself. maybe. My best laid plans were laid to waste Sunday morning, but something else much greater came over. I cannot fully explain this. But it's exciting. But if I talk about it too much, I'll probably get all funky and moody, cause I'm awesome like that.

okay, I had more to say, but it's almost 2:30am and I need to brush my teeth and go to bed. Night, y'all.

Man, my punctuation and grammar really do suck. You'd never believe I was a Communications major, would you? I KNOW how to communicate properly, electronic blogs and mail has just given me a reason to be super, super lazy.