I only have 1 biological cousin.
I really miss my 20's. A lot more than I thought I ever would. Oh God, I miss my 20's.
Sally Hansen Insta Dry Nail Polish is ah-mazing.
I think I pass gas more than the average gal. But most women pretend like they don't fart unless it's a pre-cursor to diarrhea. So I don't really have anyway to judge. However, my gas is nothing like my dog's. His will melt your face off.
I love my neighborhood, but I'm rather bummed that I live 30 some-odd minutes away from most of my friends. Boo.
At some point during the last few years, I lost the ability to spell. And I leave words out of sentences. My texts seem to have morphed into a guessing game. Oh how I my twenties.... See what I did there?
Isaac and I are watching Mike Birbiglia on Netflix right now. He's making it very, very hard to concentrate.
I luh-uved The New Mickey Mouse Club when I was younger. I used to practice their entrance in the mirror. A LOT.
One summer I worked at The Discovery Channel warehouse. I secretly prayed over the Buddha figurines and children's Wichan "How-To" books. I knew it was stupid then and I know it's stupid now. But I still kinda don't feel that bad about it.
When my dog pants heavily, his wee wee jiggles. It makes me laugh. Just typing this made me giggle.
Isaac just told a joke using the phrase, "choking the chicken". And then he told me what choking a "chicken" means. omg. OMG.
One winter, about 11 years ago, I worked at the Olive Garden in Florence y'all. One afternoon I went into the women's bathroom and realized that someone had puked what looked to be, an entire garden salad all over the stall. I'm talking the toilet seat, all 3 walls, floor, the works. For years I told the story of the day somebody 'tossed their salad' in the Olive Garden bathroom. Only about 3 years ago did anybody inform me of what that actually meant. You know, for growing up and hanging out with the drum line and having a ton of guy friends, I feel like I got a little left out of the loop. Somebody should start filling me in on these things. Fo realises.
I mildly manage a comedy troupe. I simply adore those boys.
There is no bad time for ice cream.
I really miss my grandpa.