Several years ago I was one of group of rotating emcees at a local music venue. I've always been a very outgoing person, but this volunteer position sent me into a downward spiral. I began experiencing what felt like mini panic attacks or just a heavy dose of anxiety, even if I wasn't at the venue. The worst time was about 2 or 3years ago I broke down at Cyclones game for absolutely no reason. It just got too loud and there were too many people.

Eventually I quit the emceeing gig and it helped calm the attacks. Every once in a blue moon, they'll sneak back up on me. I was so looking forward to tonight. As soon as a I started looking up the stairs to go to my seat, it hit me. Thought I was going to get sick for the 1st half of the game. I had trouble looking backwards. There were a lot of people and a lot of noise. It's so insanely frustrating though. When the anxiety hits, the anger follows. Maybe because I feel like I've lost control of the situation???? I have no desire to speak with anyone. I just want to leave. Or crawl out of my skin.

I hate feeling this way.