Beginning of my freshman year of college, my roommate and I did the whole bunk bed thing. I slept on the top bunk, and Dana was on the bottom. It seemed only fair, as she was a petite 4'11.
Because of the placement of our furniture, in order to get to bed, I had to climb from my desk chair to my desk to the wooden planks to reach the top. I think it's really a toss up between me being a giant wuss, and just having tender feet, but I always had to wear my soccer sandals to bed. I found it nearly impossible to climb without their support.
Most of my friends simply jumped off of their beds when they desired to go somewhere. Not me. The fear of almost everything had been successfully ingrained in my heart, thanks to a fantastic combination of DNA and my mother : ) I'd always climb back down, grasping the bed like a scared monkey.
One afternoon, while perched on my mattress, I made up my mind - today was going to be the day that I conquered my fear - I was gonna jump off. It seemed like the perfect time, since the door was shut and I was all alone in my room. With sweaty palms, I inched closer and closer to the side of the bed. Eventually, I got to the point where I was just dangling off the side, the last of my butt cheeks hanging on for dear life. I'm 5'8, so looking back there was probably only inches of space between myself and the floor. However, to me, I felt suspended in fear, unable to pull myself back onto the bed and unwilling to let go. I was a cosmic dingle berry.
What I lacked in courage, I also lacked in muscle tone. I had to let go. There was no other way out. I stretched as far I could, toes pointed downward, eyes shut.... For about .5 seconds, the wind was rushing through my hair, I felt strong, courageous. I was every woman. Tom Petty's Free Falling was the soundtrack of my life. And then it happened, in my effort to make every cm count, I had kept my feet pointed downward the entire time, hence my athletic sandals reaching the ground first, and consequently, literally flipping me on my face like a flapjack.
And that was the last time I attempted to jump off my bunk bed.
The End.
