1) I really dislike brown picture frames. I'm actually using one right now for a Christmas gift, but it's a deep brown and it looks manly, so it fits the gift.
2) Candles make me ridiculously happy. I'm burning 2 right now.
3) I don't tell my friends enough how much I really love them and how great they really are. But I'm afraid that if I do, they won't take me seriously. Or I'll look like a stalker.
4) I love my dog more than I ever thought I could.
5) The clearance aisle in Hobby Lobby is really the place to shop.
6) I had 62 gifts to give out this year. Less than 12 were completely store bought. I only spent $6.25 on average per gift. I feel completely satisfied in this knowledge.
7) I have no desire to go back to see my therapist because I'm ashamed that I've gained 20 lbs.
8) I think I agreed to run a 1/2 marathon with Kristen Dooley in May. omg. OMG.
9) I have a tendency to say hurtful things without meaning to.
10) I have a very difficult time forgiving myself. I'm actually better at it than I used to be, but there's just some stuff...
11) I think it's harder to forgive yourself than it is others.
12) That being said, I still haven't forgiven a few people. I simply can't find it in me. I know it's wrong, but I'm not going to "fake" forgive somebody in order to attempt to clear my conscious.
13) I like feeling important.
14) I'm going back to Nigeria in May. I'm pretty stoked.
15) It's still easier for me to be friends with guys, or at least trust male friends more than females. But I am trying to work diligently on this.
16) I have favorites. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I think this would make a terrible attribute in a parent.
17) I think I just burned out the motor in my blender this morning. Oops.
18) I struggle with anxiety, depression and ocd. It's getting easier to handle, but still.
19) If you don't think there's anything wrong with today's government, just sit through a 90 minute health insurance meeting.
20) I've never really thought Fox News was fair and balanced. Ever.
21) I judge people who watch Fox News. It makes me uncomfortable to go into doctor's office's when it's the only thing on.
22) I have the most absolute random hair that grows out of my back. I hate it.
23) I bought a pair of awesome green jelly shoes at Kroger for like, a buck this summer. I love green and I love jelly shoes. However, they hurt so stinking bad. But I still wear them as a way to get back at my mom for throwing mine away when I was little. She has no idea that I probably even own jelly shoes, let alone remembers throwing my old ones away. I think the only person I'm hurting is me. But I still have a twinge of "I'll show her!" when I wear them.
24) Sometimes I do really dumb things.
25) I hate feeling stupid and vulnerable. It kinda makes me angry.
26) I hate feeling angry because I feel stupid and vulnerable.
27) Do you ever have a teeny tiny fart slip out and just run up your butt crack? They don't make noise or smell, but goodness, do they feel funny. It's like a fish is trying to swim out your butt hole.
28) Youth scare the crap out of me. Large groups of children do as well.
29) I can't believe I'm getting ready to turn 32. THIRTY-TWO!
30) I have a hard time staying on task.
31) I hate all church journey's. Actually, I hate long periods of time when as a group we're supposed to be focused on one thing. Maybe it goes back to #30. I think I understand the importance of the idea, but I just tend to feel like it's trying to manufacture something that's already there for some small groups.
32) Part of me is ashamed of gaining so much weight. The other part of me isn't disgusted by myself anymore but feels like I should be. Another part of me doesn't see a difference from the old me to the skinnier me to the whateverIamnow me.
33) My views on theology and grace and life and family have shifted in some significant ways over the last year or two. I think this is healthy and natural to an extent and I'm at peace with most all of it.
34) Even if I could have a kid, I'm not sure that I could afford one.
35) I really really love my career. I feel guilty about thinking of giving that up to have a kid. But I still kinda want one. But there are a lot of deep seeded issues that follow.... sigh.
36) I can't make myself puke. I've tried.
37) I don't wish that I was a millionaire or "rich", but I do wish that I had enough money to just buy "whatever" without budgeting. But doesn't everybody?
38) I'm actually probably a little too proud of where I live.
39) I just realized in the last week that I don't care very much about presentation. Isaac was astonished by the fact that I just discovered this about myself.
40) I am no longer the manager of The Q City Players Comedy Improv Troupe. It was a fun run, but it's just time. I'm at total peace with it.
1 comment:
LOVE #27!! hahaha.
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